Got a toothbrush?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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