Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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