He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
