Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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