take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
