Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
