A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
We left an ass print on the piano.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
