I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
