The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
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