I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity