I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
