What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
