Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.

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(203): You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi. http://tfl.nu/yrsa

Replies (15) Good night (3283) Bad night (726)
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(513): View more from Ohio

Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.

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(513): Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box. http://tfl.nu/uquv

Replies (7) Good night (3414) Bad night (717)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks

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(908): We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks http://tfl.nu/lwab

Replies (10) Good night (4342) Bad night (1623)
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(517): View more from Michigan

Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.

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(517): Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early. http://tfl.nu/8f7a

Replies (17) Good night (6776) Bad night (2089)
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(515): View more from Iowa

So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.

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(515): So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry. http://tfl.nu/0btw

Replies (13) Good night (8922) Bad night (1211)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Why is there bacon braided in my hair

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(303): Why is there bacon braided in my hair http://tfl.nu/324s

Replies (15) Good night (3457) Bad night (1067)
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(914): View more from New York

Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.

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(914): Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night. http://tfl.nu/nj6b

Replies (3) Good night (2280) Bad night (631)
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(541): View more from Oregon

She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.

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(541): She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning. http://tfl.nu/4pom

Replies (17) Good night (2875) Bad night (1045)
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(720): View more from Colorado

I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit

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(720): I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit http://tfl.nu/p0py

Replies (5) Good night (673) Bad night (1028)
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(406): View more from Montana

I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.

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(406): I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price. http://tfl.nu/xxnk

Replies (8) Good night (3331) Bad night (570)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits

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(304): I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits http://tfl.nu/u184

Replies (1) Good night (298) Bad night (637)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat

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(860): You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat http://tfl.nu/0bsb

Replies (0) Good night (359) Bad night (264)
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(765): View more from Indiana

I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.

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(765): I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca. http://tfl.nu/urnl

Replies (2) Good night (249) Bad night (398)
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(903): View more from Texas

You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.

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(903): You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life. http://tfl.nu/tabn

Replies (4) Good night (324) Bad night (152)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis

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(919): we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis http://tfl.nu/tix6

Replies (3) Good night (391) Bad night (99)

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