Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
