I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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