I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
you would pick up someone in the library
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
