I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize