check it out our google latitudes are spooning
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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