When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
