come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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