Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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