Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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