My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
