So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
