you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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