he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
