I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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