Ambien. No doubt about it.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
