i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
