i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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