Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
