Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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