Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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