So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
