I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
