Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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