Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
