Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
