So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
