Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
