Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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