He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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