Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
