Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
