so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
