So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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