I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
