physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
