can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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