We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I've blown a few things in my day
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I need to wash the frat house off of me
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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