Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
