I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize