You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
