I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
