Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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