how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
