he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
They have beer where we have blood.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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