people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
