dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
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If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
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He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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