You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
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