I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
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