I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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