don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
