i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
