i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
