Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
