I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize